On Seeking Faith: Tayt Thomas

Matthew 7:7- “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.”

When I was in high school, I signed up to go to a summer camp that my church was putting on. This was a pretty typical Baptist church camp, and as such, on one of the nights towards the end they made an altar call for anyone who wasn't saved, but wished to be. I realized then that when I had been baptized many years before, I had just done it because of my family beliefs. I had thought that being baptized was just something you did if you went to church, and so I hadn’t really done it for the purpose of dedicating my life to Christ. After this realization, I thought that I should probably go and accept the call and give my life to Christ. Only I didn’t feel comfortable going up and doing it, and so I did not. Being raised in church all my life, it was odd to me that I would not want to do this. After camp ended and I went home, I spent a lot of time thinking about this by myself and came to the conclusion that the reason I did not accept the call was because I was not sure Jesus was the Son of God.

For someone who was raised in church, whose extended family was all practicing Christians, and whose parents exclusively listened to K-Love, this was an alarming revelation to me. I wasn’t someone who believed Jesus wasn’t the Son of God, it was just that I couldn’t say that he was or that he wasn’t. I was not certain that Jesus was the Son of God, and the issue of the possibility of the Gospels being true, and what to do with that possibility, still persists. I did believe that with enough research, I could find enough evidence to say whether or not Jesus was who he said he was, but honestly, as a non-Christian, I did not put in a real amount of effort into searching. Instead, I think it was more of a mental challenge of, if I find out it wasn’t true, what would I do with my life?. Or, what would I have to make of the world after the fact? On top of this, after a long enough time, I think I got used to living without an answer to it and became comfortable.

I actually really would like to be a Christian. The people that live godly lives have been the best, most enjoyable people I have met, with a consistent desire to come back to God and love others for a reason that doesn’t change with how they feel. I would rather be a Christian and believe it than any other form of existence, honestly. But the worst thing for me would be to “become” a Christian and not really believe what I say.

Usually when I think about Christianity, I consider the people in my life who call themselves Christians, and as I have spent more and more time at The Wesley, it’s been the folks here that most predominantly represent that image of Christianity in my mind. Through being a part of this ministry, my learning more about faith and belief, my eye witness experience of what being a dedicated Christian looks like, and being able to participate in a Christian community have all led me to want to investigate my faith more. But honestly, the idea that I could also be closer to this community through my faith as a Christian is probably the biggest influence on the direction I want to take with my spiritual life.

This verse from Matthew 7 is one that I’ve known for most of my agnostic life, and has pretty well defined what my spiritual life should be like during this time of my life. The promise that you will find God if you are putting in the effort to try and find him is a significant statement. To believe that despite your own capabilities, if you look for God, you’ll find him takes a lot of pressure off, and is a promise that pretty well applies to my situation.

Some things I ask myself when thinking about this verse are: Have I been seeking or asking or knocking? I have been spending time with God’s people, but have I been putting in effort to try and find Jesus? I would say that my answer is a partial no, and I would like that to change.

I do believe there’s a God, and I would like to have an answer to my uncertainty, so why would I not ask for some answers? Although I used to believe that I could convert myself using evidence, I know that faith is a component of belief. I have been told many times by a few people that I should begin praying and seeking God out. If it's promised that asking for faith will be answered, I might as well ask.

As we’re now on our Christmas Break at Tech, I hope to be spending more time in prayer, in reading, and in asking for discernment on the issue.

Tayt Thomas is a senior at Louisiana Tech majoring in Interdisciplinary Studies. Kind, patient, and easygoing, Tayt’s presence at The Wesley has been a huge source of encouragement to our community. He enjoys camping, bird watching, video games, and sci-fi media. Tayt is a tremendous blessing to us, and we love him dearly!